I Am A Closet Vermiculturist

Yes, i think it is time I admit the truth. I have worms living in my basement.

It was only a few months ago that I purchase 500 Red Wigglers and put them into a series of stacked, black plastic bins in my basement. Then I began to feed and water them – modestly at first. But more and more each week until all at once I realized I was obsessed. The worms grew right alongside my passion. Bigger and bigger – and not only did they grow bigger. No, they multiplied. And still I continued with the reckless feeding. Soon I was hording food particles from work and ferrying them home for my worms. My worms, my worms, my babies. My pets living in mud and food waste, churning through my kitchen waste and crapping out that fool’s quest -the fertilizer of all mothers. Yes, I speak of Black Gold. And I got a plastic bin full of it in my basement.

If that isn’t enough for you, lately I’ve caught myself in the catacombs of my crib mixing wormbrewed tea. I know what you must be thinking – but listen: it calls out to me, I tell you! I have to release the spigot and release the dark flowing tea of all teas! the plants love it. How can I say no?